Category Archive: art & literature

Oct 11 2017

Books I’ve Read in 2017…

Total Pages Read: 12,314
Shortest Book: 29 pages
Longest Book: 592 pages
Fiction: 29
Non-Fiction: 3
Cookbook: 4
Poetry: 5

Last Book Read:
41. Sourdough by Robin Sloan. When Lois is gifted a sourdough culture by the strange brothers running the underground restaurant she is fond of, her life changes in ways she could never expect. 262 pages. (Finished 11 Oct 2017).

Past Lists:

2016 List
2015 List
2014 List
2013 List
2012 List
2011 List
2010 List
2009 List
2008 List
2007 List

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Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2017/books-ive-read-in-2017/

Dec 12 2016

Books I’ve Read in 2016…

Total Pages Read: 9,998
Shortest Book: 86 pages
Longest Book: 624 pages
Fiction: 17
Non-Fiction: 9
Cookbook: 1
Poetry: 5

Last Book Read:
32. The Course of Love by Alain de Botton. A return to fiction and the story of our narrator from On Love. We learn more about who our narrator is and his background. We follow him as he journeys through the beginnings of the relationship that becomes his marriage and what follows over the course of it. 240 pages. (Finished 12 Dec 2016).

Past Lists:

2015 List
2014 List
2013 List
2012 List
2011 List
2010 List
2009 List
2008 List
2007 List

Read the rest of this entry »

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2016/books-ive-read-in-2016/

Oct 03 2016

Desires

“There were things Jacob wanted, and he wanted them from Julia. but the possibility of sharing desires diminished as her need to hear them increased. It was the same for her. They loved each other’s company, and would always choose it over either aloneness or the company of anyone else, but the more comfort they found together, the more life they shared, the more estranged they became from their inner lives.”

-From Here I Am by Jonathan Safran Foer

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2016/desires/

Aug 15 2016

Morning Song

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2016/morning-song/

Jul 14 2016

for lost friends

For Lost Friends

As twilight makes a rainbow robe
From the concealed colors of day
In order for time to stay alive
Within the dark weight of night,
May we lose no one we love
From the shelter of our hearts.

When we love another heart
And allow it to love us,
We journey deep below time
Into that eternal weave
Where nothing unravels.

May we have the grace to see
Despite the hurt of rupture,
The searing of anger,
And the empty disappointment,
that whoever we have loved,
Such love can never quench.

Though a door may have closed,
Closed between us,
May we be able to view
Our lost friends with eyes
Wise with calming grace;
Forgive them the damage
We were left to inherit;

Free ourselves from the chains
Of forlorn resentment;
Bring warmth again to
Where the heart has frozen
In order that beyond the walls
Of our cherished hurt
And chosen distance
We may be able to
Celebrate the gifts they brought,
Learn and grow from the pain,
And prosper into difference,
Wishing them the peace
Where spirit can summon
Beauty from wounded space.

– John O’Donohue (from To Bless the Space Between Us)

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2016/for-lost-friends/

Jul 11 2016

Rising Water

New track from Irish singer James Vincent McMorrow that I’m digging:

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2016/rising-water/

Jun 08 2016

A Moon Shaped Pool

The rise of digital music and streaming music services like Spotify and Apple Music has been great in many ways. It is easier than ever to get music and discover music. It does have its downsides as well though. One of the of these downsides is the rarity of the “album artist” in today’s music business. It simply is a rare art form in the current business of single track downloads.

I’ve been a big Radiohead fan since I first saw the video for Creep on MTV all those years ago. I’ve listened as they’ve matured as a band and risen to be one of the biggest rock bands in the world. One thing I think they do better than pretty much any other contemporary rock band (especially of their prominence) is the careful thought and makeup of each individual album (with a couple of exceptions). There are great individual singles on each Radiohead album, but there is clearly a lot of thought put into the placement of songs on each album. This is what makes Radiohead’s best albums great.

A Moon Shaped Pool is no exception to this idea. This being Radiohead there is no single theme to the album and even those identifiable themes are inexplicably entwined. Whatever the theme you relate to in each of these songs, this is an album of someone who has been broken open. The tragedy of politics, environment, and personal life have cut open a sense of trauma, heartache, and drained acceptance of the invading doom.

The theme of heartache that flows through the album, largely inspired by Thom Yorke’s separation from his partner of 23 years (and mother of their two children). Unlike Björk’s Vulnicura, where the songs were largely written while the separation/divorce was building up, happening, and resolving; A Moon Shaped Pool includes songs that were written years earlier, however the specific placement of these songs on the album is what makes them even more interesting. In this context, these earlier slices of heartache show slivers of the troubles that will lead to the separation.

With current circumstances in my life, the heartache in the album resonates with me deeply. It begins on the second track, Daydreaming. The dreamer has past the point of no return and the damage has been done. He is lost wandering the world no longer connected to anyone (especially as depicted in the video for the song). As the song concludes you have a chant that sounds like nonsense, but is actually Thom referring to his relationship having been “Half My Life,” slowed down and played in reverse.

In the next track, Decks Dark, the themes of environment and heartache are entwined. Something is blocking out our vision…our happiness. We can no longer resist the darkness that has taken over. There is an element of surprise in his reaction to what is happening inside of him. He sings ““You gotta be kidding me, the grass grows over me,” signifying a death of sorts. Is it a death of the love for his former partner? A death of self? A death of the environment?

Desert Island Disk, we get a focus on light and the color white. These images are also sprinkled throughout the album (again first really showing up in Daydreaming). There is a sense of erasing and rebirth in these images that are reflected in both the music, and how the band went about preparing to release the album. Before the album release, they “erased” their entire online presence…website & social media accounts…and started over with the album release. By erasing we can be reborn.

Next we get one of the older songs, Ful Stop (it was performed on tour in 2012), that is making its album debut. This is one of those songs where you can see those earlier slices of heartache but its placement on the album is spot on. Things are messed up and now even the truth is hard to believe. Were the good times actually good times…or do we just want to believe they were?  These questions that have no real answers can cause us to be trapped in the full stop (a period), the ending of a sentence (relationship).

Anxiety and alienation (another common theme in Radiohead’s music), are the primary themes in Glass Eyes. Now that the truth has been shattered, we are left as an anxious and alienated mess. We want someone to tell us we are great but instead we just feel small and alone. We are constantly on the verge of tears. So we retreat to nature, to escape the overwhelming pressure of the city. All we want to do is escape.

Perhaps my favorite of the “heartbreak” songs, Identikit, another first appearing during that 2012 tour:

Identikit: A picture of a person, reconstructed from strips showing facial features selected to match witnesses’ descriptions; used by the police to build a likeness of a person sought for a crime. A heart is broken, tears flow, and love becomes doubt. We are left to reconstruct that person, that love, that life. This song links back to Ful Stop (and was often played together on that tour in 2012). “Truth will mess you up” in Ful Stop, “I don’t wanna know” in Identikit. The truth could hurt and break you. This is the climax of the heartache theme on the album. There is nothing left.

While not specifically dealing with heartbreak, but the aftermath of the ending of a relationship, is Present Tense. This is another older song, having been played as early as 2009. The lyrics are abstract enough to cover both that time when you know the relationship is falling apart, but also that time after the relationship when you talk to the person again. The awkward interactions, the remnants of love and being lost in each other. How we question the relationship and if we did enough, if it was all in vain, if it was worth it at all. By the end you cannot escape the present tense, finding yourself outside of that full stop earlier in the album.

The album concludes with the oldest track on the album (and most eagerly awaited of unreleased studio tracks), True Love Waits. This song was first played in 1995 and has existed in various live versions over the years. This version is stripped back to just Thom’s vocals and two piano tracks. It is heartbreakingly beautiful. Both sad and hopeful at the same time. I honestly can’t decide whether it’s a hopeful end to the album (and the survival of the dreamer) or the final expression of having that dream broken for good. I do know that it makes me want to hug someone I love (friend, family, or lover) in that 20 seconds after the music fades out before the track itself ends.

I’ve talked a lot about the lyrical content of the album, but it would be amiss to not mention the effect of the musical arrangements led by the musical direction of Jonny Greenwood. The addition of the London Contemporary Orchestra adds layers to digest over many of these songs. Like many of the movie scores that Jonny has scored recently, the music is a voice/character of its own. It commands as much attention as the lyrics themselves.

I’ve skipped over three tracks, the opening track Burn the Witch, The Numbers (between Identikit and Present Tense), and Tinker Tailor Soldier Sailor Rich Man Poor Man Beggar Man Thief (between Present Tense and True Love Waits). These songs deal more with the themes of political and environmental anxiety and alienation. They are entwined with the brokenness of the world and life, but focus less on the specific personal heartbreak that sticks to me at the moment. Even then, I think they are very purposefully placed in the context of the entire album.

My friend Elizabeth had a great observation as we were discussing the album: “I actually think the whole production is sort of like a reversible shirt. It’s meant to go both ways. The infinity sign of time. He is always walking toward and away from this relationship.”

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2016/a-moon-shaped-pool/

Jun 03 2016

Vulnicura

The title of Björk’s album (released at the beginning of 2015) is a mashup of two latin nouns (Vulnus + Cura) and roughly translates to “Cure for Wounds.” This album has been a constant in my musical rotation since I realized in April that my marriage was in real danger of failing (which it of course eventually did). The album was written during the breakup of her marriage and is devastating and beautiful all at the same time. Each of the first six tracks are accompanied by a timeline in the liner notes. Tracks 1 – 3 being before the breakup and 4 – 6 being after the break up. The last three tracks offer a sense of hope and healing…but it is not the Hollywood kind of ending. There is still an intense vulnerability in the healing presented in these tracks. These include older tracks but still very much fit in with the overall arc of the album.

Here is the track that really sticks with me at the moment:

At times, I think I’m here alongside her (this is “11 months after” and track 6). Other times its clear that I’m not there as well. I guess that’s to be expected. In reality its only 1 month after. There are probably still many more of the feelings in Black Lake that I’m still feeling (“2 months after” and track 4):

Last night I was overcome with sadness. I was thinking about the good times A and I had. The first times we hung out where I introduced her to Cafe Corsa and Skylight Books in LA (which she insisted were dates and I insisted were just friends meeting). I was thinking about all the fun road trips we have taken. Trips to Big Sur, the redwoods on the Northern California coast, camping at Wallowa Lake in NE Oregon, trips to Vancouver BC. It is these memories that I want to hold close to my heart and cherish. For all the things that ended up going wrong in our relationship, there was plenty of happy times. These are the memories I will keep with my heart.

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2016/vulnicura/

Jun 02 2016

Divorce Separation Blues

“It is odd to me that more songs aren’t specifically written about divorce, considering how painfully common the event has become. In this particular case, the idea for the song came along as a yodel, which I have no explanation for, except that I am a sucker for a sad song presented in a relatively bright or conversational way,” – Seth Avett in an interview with the Huffington Post.

 

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2016/divorce-separation-blues/

May 18 2016

How To Be Alone

found via PostSecret FB:

 

This is something I’m having to figure out again. Eight years in a relationship. Five years of living together. Done in what seems like an instant. I was talking to my mom last night and I told her “in a way, its like A died, at least in regards to me.” Only it might be more difficult than if she had died, because she’s still around. I could easily run into her (especially since she moved somewhere right next to where I am often). I imagine she’ll do everything she can to avoid me if she sees me based on how she’s acted since she left, but the possibility is there nonetheless.

I’ve been alone before. Its ok to be alone. Its just something I have to get used to again for now.

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2016/how-to-be-alone/

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