Tag: life or something like it

Aug 22 2007

Welcome to California

So here I am…entering California.  The drive was pretty comfortable all in all.  My rental car was nicely equipped with Sirius Satellite Radio, so most of the first day of driving was spent singing along to the 80’s channel.  The one thing you can say about a solo road trip…no one can complain about your singing.  I wasn’t in California long however before I ran across this:

A giant wooden horse? You’ve got to be kidding me!  Here I am driving to Los Angeles to work at the University of Southern California and I see a giant wooden horse less than an hour after entering California.  What craziness!Other than that, the drive was pretty standard.  The drive past Mt. Shasta and Shasta Lake was beautiful as always.  I ended up resisting the temptation to stop in Redding for In-N-Out, pushing through to Corning, CA where I would need to fill up with gas.  For those of you who haven’t driven down I-5 through Northern California, Corning is home to the famous Olive Pit Restaurant (they also advertise a big “Olive Festival,” however, I’ve never been through when it is going on).  This was a standard stop for a few of my friends and always featured some tasting of some tasty olives.

Day one’s destination was Madera, CA.  I was going to crash at my friend Nicole’s aunt & uncle’s house.  Nicole happened to be in the states (she currently lives in Sicily) during August and offered to give me a place to crash.  We went out for a nice dinner at The Vineyard Restaurant and afterwards watched a little tv with her aunt & uncle before I crashed for the night.

Day two was a quick drive down to Los Angeles.  I stopped in the town before the Grapevine to fill up again and was on my way.  Traffic wasn’t to bad once I hit the LA area except for a little stretch near Downtown LA.  I pulled up to my new place (a townhouse) just after 11am.  After a quick bite for lunch I unloaded the car and here I was…a resident of Los Angeles.

Crazy!

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/welcome-to-california/

Aug 19 2007

Leaving Oregon

After an action packed final week, on July 21, 2007, I loaded up a truck with all of my belongings and left Portland after almost three years.  I was heading down to Eugene to spend some time with my family and friends before the final destination of Los Angeles.  It was a good thing however that I was so busy the last couple weeks in Portland, because it gave me less time to reflect on the things and people I was leaving.  I was thankful however that I managed to spend at least a little time with pretty much all of my Portland area friends before I left.

Moving day was pretty crazy.  Most of my stuff was ready to put in the truck, but not quite everything.  Then there was the question of “was everything going to fit?”  Luckily with some excellent Tetris-like skills, everything that was going fit in the truck.  I was pretty exhausted by the time the truck was loaded and contemplated sticking around another night before pushing through and getting on the road.

My two and a half weeks in Eugene hanging with friends and family was good.  Both of my sisters were in town, which could be one of the last times all of us are together under the same roof.  (The middle sister lives in NYC). There was also plenty of good times to be had with my Eugene friends, 80’s night, a now infamous Burlesque show and one new friend.  I find it kinda ironic that for most of high school and college I couldn’t wait to get out of Eugene, but now that I’ve been gone for awhile…I really miss it.  Anyway, the time in Eugene was really good, not nearly as dramatic as I’d feared and well worth the lost wages I could have earned staying in Portland for another couple weeks.

On August 8th, I loaded what I could in a rented Chrysler Pacifica and began my journey to Los Angeles. Before leaving Oregon, I did have to stop in Ashland to get some snacks at the Co-op and see my old housemate. But after that quick stop, it was on to California.

I’ve barely left you…but I miss you already

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/leaving-oregon/

Jun 30 2007

changes

I haven’t posted in awhile, and part of that is because I’d been holding off on perhaps the biggest news until it was official.  The big news is, I’m moving to LA at the beginning of August.  An amazing opportunity kind of fell into my lap.  I’m going to be working at the Episcopal Chaplaincy at the University of Southern California.  I’ll be working closely with the Chaplain as a lay chaplain. 

So as of now the tentative plan will be to be moved out of my apartment in Portland by Jul. 22.  I’ll be down in Eugene through Aug. 6 and then head down to LA.

I’m excited…but its going to make for a busy July.  I’m also taking a graduate-level history class at PSU through July 18th.  So it’s work, school and getting ready to move for me for the next three weeks. 

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/changes/

May 29 2007

Welcome back to the work week

After a generally morose weekend, its back to work.  But today is a good day.  I think I’ve at least a bit dug out of the moroseness of the weekend and have a positive attitude going into this week.  Sunday ended up making all the difference.  Went on a long bike ride with a friend, then went over to another friends house and watched the end of the Stanley Cup Game 1.  We had a little bbq afterwards and then I rode my bike home.  After around 30ish miles of bike riding on Sunday, I slept very well last night.

The weather is supposed to be great all week, maybe even a little too hot on Wednesday (the first 90 degree High is predicited for Wednesday).

It’s gonna be a good week I think. 

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/welcome-back-to-the-work-week/

May 27 2007

forgotten

I’ve been struggling with my self esteem lately.  It’s not just the normal I’ve been beaten up emotionally by the girls I’ve been interested in lately (which is still true).  Lately I’ve felt like just an after thought in many of my relationships.  From my parents not letting me know they were coming to town (or taking even a little time to stop by and see me) to another friend forgetting to let me know they were leaving (when they knew and had said I could go along with them).

As a result I’ve been spending a lot of time just sulking around my room.  I’m sleeping a lot, not because I’m tired, but because I don’t have anything better to do. I have very little appetite lately, I eat, because I know I need to, but it rarely excites me.  I’ve often “forgotten” to eat in the evenings, because nothing sounds good to me.

I’m not really sure how to escape this funk at the moment either.  I’m confident that I will eventually, I’m just not sure what to do to help that process.

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/forgotten/

May 18 2007

They don’t finally meet somewhere

The minute I heard my first love story
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.

Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.

–Rūmī

I wonder if at times I am just guilty of hearing only what I want to hear.  If perhaps I’ve been deceiving myself in my pursuit of some sort of meaningful relationship.  That in my looking, I’ve become blind to love itself.

Over the past year it feels like I’ve been constently beaten down in this pursuit.  I have to wonder if some of those bruises are self-inflicted.   Am I ascribing feelings of love to feelings of lust?  I fell for a couple different people this past year.  Each time however fate seemed to have other things in store (pending moves were issues in both cases, though not by any means the only issues).  I’m waiting for the day to arrive that the chorus of the Dire Straits song “Romeo & Juliet” will no longer be true.

Juliet, the dice was loaded from the start,
And I bet, then you exploded in my heart,
And I forget, I forget, the movie song
When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?

Right now I am stuck in this paradox of extreme spring fever and an indifference towards relationships.  I don’t need something completely serious…but I don’t want just a random hookup either.  From experience, I know that the random hookup won’t make me any happier.

So I’m left with just faith.  I believe, as Rūmī suggests, I will find what was in me all along.  It brings me hope and with that hope I maintain at least some level of happiness.  There are days that it is a struggle to believe in that hope and happiness. These days I rely on my faith and also on poetry.  Sometimes what I need is time in prayer.  Other times, the prayer comes through the poetry of others.  Some days I just need to write.  It doesn’t always make sense.  It isn’t always poetry.  It is just love.  I don’t need to “understand” it.  I just need to give myself to it.  Without condition.  Without requition.  In many ways this has become my religion.  Love and my faith in it.

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/they-dont-finally-meet-somewhere/

May 10 2007

Running to Stand Still

On Tuesday, I found out that I did not get the internship in LA.  While I’m quite relieved to at least know, I’m still a little bummed that I didn’t get it.  LA isn’t my first choice of a place to live by far, however I think the year there would have been very good for me.  What it has done is put me back into a brainstorming mode of what my next move is.  Right now I’m blessed with a great job and boss so I’ve at least got that going for me.  But it also doesn’t get me any closer to where I want to be.  So I’ve got myself some time set up to talk to a friend and do some brainstorming on Monday morning.  Hopefully, we’ll be able to come up with some good ideas from there.

What I see myself doing this week though is pulling inward.  I’ve got no appetite for food, though I’m eating better this week than I did over the weekend.  I’m going home tonight for Mother’s Day weekend, but that is also part of what is on my mind.  A couple weeks ago, my parents were in town, and didn’t tell me they were coming up, and when I talked to them after finding out…didn’t make any time to see me.

I feel alone.  If it wasn’t for one of my best friends, I might not have seen anyone outside of work this week.  I barely even see my roommates…one of whom is a lame duck roommate as he’s moving out at the end of the month. So I also need to be searching for a new roommate, but I have no motivation for that either.

Tonight, 80’s Night at John Henry’s in Eugene.  That will be fun.  It’ll be good to see my Eugene friends and forget about everything else going on for a few hours.

Saturday, I get an eye exam.  I don’t think my perscription will have changed, but its been long enough I need an exam to get new glasses.  I’m going to get my Dolce & Gabanna frames relensed (I lost one of them) and I’m looking for new frames that are flamboyant and competely different from the three frames I already have.

Sunday is Mother’s Day.  I haven’t decided what I’m going to do for her (other than give her the last installment of money that I owe her).   

I’m also looking forward to watching the Planet Earth DVD’s on my dad’s HDTV. 

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/running-to-stand-still/

Apr 10 2007

Internships, iPods and other silly things

I’ve interviewed for the internship in LA.  I actually was able to do my interview face to face, because I co-led a workshop at a conference with the person who would be interviewing me.  I think the interview went well.  My thought is that the other applicants (esp. male), will have more to do on whether or not I get the internship.  After being in the LA area for the weekend though, I’m still kinda freaked out about moving there.  Its going to be rough living in that environment for a year, and unfortunately I doubt I’ll be able to afford to make many “sanity” trips up to Oregon.

I finally caved in and bought a new iPod.  My old one broke the week before Thanksgiving last year.  I was able to hold off buying one for an entire month when I decided I really wanted one again.  I even put the cost of the iPod in savings before buying one later on.  This time I got the 4GB iPod Nano (Red so some of the cost goes to helping Africa).  Now I’ll have music to listen to on my morning bus commute again. 😀

I’m getting really excited about my trip to NYC in 8 days.

I’m going to see Stephen Marley & Damian “Jr. Gong” Marley at the Roseland on Thursday.

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/internships-ipods-and-other-silly-things/

Mar 24 2007

spring begins

Spring has begun in typical Oregon fashion, with rainy days.  The combination of grey rainy days and missing my housemate that moved to Japan last Sunday has left me in a general state of melancholy all week.  I’ve been half-heartily searching for a new roommate all week, and my other roommate hasn’t been around to do interviews (at least as much as I’d like), so that hasn’t helped either.  I’d like to get the whole roommate mess sorted out before I leave for LA on Thursday, but I’m not sure that’s gonna happen.

Wednesday night the video card in my desktop computer decided to commit hari kari.  I’ve got a new one on the way from Newegg, which will actually be a pretty significant upgrade.  Until then, I’ve got my desktop running headless so I can stream music off of it on my spare laptop.  But it is alas an unplanned expense.  Fortunately, for one of the first times in my life, I’m in a place I can absorb it.

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/spring-begins/

Mar 20 2007

the last day of winter

After only a short hour and a half on the phone yesterday, I’ve reworked my flight schedule to NYC in April (Delta changed our intinerary on Sunday).  We’ll be leaving PDX earlier, laying over in SLC for almost 4 hours, and arriving in Newark…instead of JFK.  But at least I will get into the NYC area in enough time to make it up to New Haven and check out Yale Divinity School.  In compensation for doubling our travel time (and the hour and a half I spent on the phone mainly on hold)…we are recieving passes to Delta’s Crown Room (which may not even arrive in time, because they have to get sent out via the corporate office).  They also offered us $50 travel vouchers, however as neither my friend or I plan to fly Delta anytime soon…they would pretty much be worthless (plus apparently you have to take them into a Delta ticket counter to even use them).

Now I must figure out how to get from Newark airport to New Haven.  Yummy.

My (old) roommate made it safely to Japan, where she is spending a week in Toyko for unpaid training in a shitty hotel before moving to a small city of 50k north of Toyko.

I rented a car and went to the coast with a friend on Sunday after we dropped the (old) roommate off at the airport for her flight to Japan.  While the weather decided not to fully cooperate, I still had a good time, got my feet sandy and wet, and felt refreshed after the trip.

This week will involve yet more interviews trying to fill the empty room in our apartment.  So far, I haven’t been that excited about the responses to my Craigslist ad.  

I’m excited for Spring.  I feel like this year spring and summer are going to be really good. 

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2007/the-last-day-of-winter/