Tag: h

On dating and friendships…

An acquaintance of mine (Jenny) recently wrote this really good post about why she’s stopped dating. She had a bunch of points that I really related to as I’ve navigated dating after my relationship with H ended at the end of the last year. Her first point: “1. I find it very difficult to be attracted/interested in a picture or two and short little blurb. And so many dudes [women in my case] don’t even write a blurb.”

Honestly I just don’t really get online dating that much. The only semi-successful relationship I’ve had that started from an online dating site was H, and that only lasted about a year. My most successful relationships have been ones that started organically with people I’ve already met. I haven’t necessarily been friends with that person before entering a dating relationship, just that the initial introduction has already happened.

Unlike Jenny, I’m not ready to give up on dating yet, I haven’t even completely given up on the online sites. I don’t think my heart is really into online dating though. There are plenty of anxieties that I’m still working through regarding dating after my divorce and then the end of my relationship (and friendship) with H. I’m in a bit of a Catch-22 when it comes to dating. I want to date, but I don’t at the same time, or at my worst I don’t feel like I’m a good potential partner for someone.

Like Jenny, what I really want is to work on both maintaining and finding quality friendships. I have my friend family both near and far, those folks that you can call up after not speaking for a year or two and its like yesterday, but I’d like to have a few more folks locally. It’s not easy making new friendships in your 40s (as I talked about in a previous post). I’ve reached out to folks to do things (overcoming my anxiety about this). I still spend way too much time watching Netflix alone on the weekends, but I am getting better about making sure I do still get out of the house and see another human at least once during the weekend.

Permanent link to this article: https://www.rhinoblues.com/thoughts/2018/on-dating-and-friendships/