Tag Archive: depression

Sep 01 2016

forty

Wow, 40 years old. So crazy.

At the beginning of the year I was looking forward to turning 40. Things weren’t exactly where I wanted them to be, but I had a plan on how to improve things. Then my world fell apart and everything changed. I wasn’t sure how I felt about turning 40 anymore. At the beginning of August, I was kind of dreading the end of the month. I was facing 40 and a probable “antiversary” (where while I’m still technically married…there is no celebration of my marriage day) alone. I fell into a bit of a depression…the events of the year finally catching up to me. If I’m completely honest, that fog of depression is still there…but I’m working on focusing on the good things that happen each day. Inspired by a couple other friends, I have a little running project going on Instagram, where I post a daily (mostly) list of good things. For the most part, each day there are at least a few good things I can identify and remind myself that things aren’t all that bad.

You say it's your birthday... #GoodThings #40thbirthday #FuckDepression

A post shared by Ryan Gillespie (@rhinoblues) on

As the days to my 40th counted down, I decided to let this be a new beginning. 39 was probably the toughest year of my life. Just about everything that could be turned upside down was. This year around the sun will be better than the last. I’m working hard on those goals I had at the beginning of the year. Things are already getting better in many of those areas.

Thanks again to my family and friends that came over to celebrate my birthday with me. It was a huge thing for me to be able to spend an afternoon with all of you and really feel the love you have all given me.

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