The minute I heard my first love story Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. –R\u016bm\u012b<\/p>\n I wonder if at times I am just guilty of hearing only what I want to hear.\u00a0 If perhaps I’ve been deceiving myself in my pursuit of some sort of meaningful relationship.\u00a0 That in my looking, I’ve become blind to love itself.<\/p>\n Over the past year it feels like I’ve been constently beaten down in this pursuit.\u00a0 I have to wonder if some of those bruises are self-inflicted.\u00a0\u00a0 Am I ascribing feelings of love to feelings of lust?\u00a0 I fell for a couple different people this past year.\u00a0 Each time however fate seemed to have other things in store (pending moves were issues in both cases, though not by any means the only issues).\u00a0 I’m waiting for the day to arrive that the chorus of the Dire Straits song “Romeo & Juliet” will no longer be true.<\/p>\n Juliet, the dice was loaded from the start, Right now I am stuck in this paradox of extreme spring fever and an indifference towards relationships.\u00a0 I don’t need something completely serious…but I don’t want just a random hookup either.\u00a0 From experience, I know that the random hookup won’t make me any happier.<\/p>\n So I’m left with just faith.\u00a0 I believe, as R\u016bm\u012b suggests, I will find what was in me all along.\u00a0 It brings me hope and with that hope I maintain at least some level of happiness.\u00a0 There are days that it is a struggle to believe in that hope and happiness. These days I rely on my faith and also on poetry.\u00a0 Sometimes what I need is time in prayer.\u00a0 Other times, the prayer comes through the poetry of others.\u00a0 Some days I just need to write.\u00a0 It doesn’t always make sense.\u00a0 It isn’t always poetry.\u00a0 It is just love.\u00a0 I don’t need to “understand” it.\u00a0 I just need to give myself to it.\u00a0 Without condition.\u00a0 Without requition.\u00a0 In many ways this has become my religion.\u00a0 Love and my faith in it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along. –R\u016bm\u012b I wonder if at times I am just guilty of hearing only what I want to hear.\u00a0 If perhaps I’ve been deceiving myself in … <\/p>\n
\nI started looking for you, not knowing
\nhow blind that was.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nThey’re in each other all along.<\/p>\n
\nAnd I bet, then you exploded in my heart,
\nAnd I forget, I forget, the movie song
\nWhen you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet? <\/em><\/p>\n