![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.brainpickings.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/steinbeckalifeinletters.jpg\")
<\/a>\u201cIf it is right, it happens \u2014 The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.\u201d<\/em><\/h4>\nNobel laureate John Steinbeck<\/a> (1902-1968) might be best-known as the author of East of Eden<\/em><\/a>, The Grapes of Wrath<\/em><\/a>, and Of Mice and Men<\/em><\/a>, but he was also a prolific letter-writer. Steinbeck: A Life in Letters<\/em><\/strong><\/a> constructs an alternative biography of the iconic author through some 850 of his most thoughtful, witty, honest, opinionated, vulnerable, and revealing letters to family, friends, his editor, and a circle of equally well-known and influential public figures.<\/p>\nAmong his correspondence is this beautiful response to his eldest son Thom\u2019s 1958 letter, in which the teenage boy confesses to have fallen desperately in love with a girl named Susan while at boarding school. Steinbeck\u2019s words of wisdom \u2014 tender, optimistic, timeless, infinitely sagacious \u2014 should be etched onto the heart and mind of every living, breathing human being.<\/p>\n
New York
\nNovember 10, 1958<\/p>\n
Dear Thom:<\/p>\n
We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.<\/p>\n
First \u2014 if you are in love \u2014 that\u2019s a good thing \u2014 that\u2019s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don\u2019t let anyone make it small or light to you.<\/p>\n
Second \u2014 There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you \u2014 of kindness and consideration and respect \u2014 not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn\u2019t know you had.<\/p>\n
You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply \u2014 of course it isn\u2019t puppy love.<\/p>\n
But I don\u2019t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it \u2014 and that I can tell you.<\/p>\n
Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.<\/p>\n
The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.<\/p>\n
If you love someone \u2014 there is no possible harm in saying so \u2014 only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.<\/p>\n
Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.<\/p>\n
It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another \u2014 but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.<\/p>\n
Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I\u2019m glad you have it.<\/p>\n
We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.<\/p>\n
And don\u2019t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens \u2014 The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.<\/p>\n
Love,<\/p>\n
Fa<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Among his correspondence is this beautiful response to his eldest son Thom\u2019s 1958 letter, in which the teenage boy confesses to have fallen desperately in love with a girl named Susan while at boarding school. Steinbeck\u2019s words of wisdom \u2014 tender, optimistic, timeless, infinitely sagacious \u2014 should be etched onto the heart and mind of every living, breathing human being.<\/p>\n
New York
\nNovember 10, 1958<\/p>\nDear Thom:<\/p>\n
We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.<\/p>\n
First \u2014 if you are in love \u2014 that\u2019s a good thing \u2014 that\u2019s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don\u2019t let anyone make it small or light to you.<\/p>\n
Second \u2014 There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you \u2014 of kindness and consideration and respect \u2014 not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn\u2019t know you had.<\/p>\n
You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply \u2014 of course it isn\u2019t puppy love.<\/p>\n
But I don\u2019t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it \u2014 and that I can tell you.<\/p>\n
Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.<\/p>\n
The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.<\/p>\n
If you love someone \u2014 there is no possible harm in saying so \u2014 only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.<\/p>\n
Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.<\/p>\n
It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another \u2014 but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.<\/p>\n
Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I\u2019m glad you have it.<\/p>\n
We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.<\/p>\n
And don\u2019t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens \u2014 The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.<\/p>\n
Love,<\/p>\n
Fa<\/p><\/blockquote>\n