I realized that this was first thanksgiving I’ve ever had without spending some time with my family. It’s kinda weird how much its got me down, since holidays at home are always kinda stressful. It is a weird dynamic, even though they often get on my nerves, I would give pretty much anything to have been home this weekend.
I’m struggling a lot right now. I’m not adjusting as quickly (or easily) as I thought I would. I’m not doing my job as well as I thought I would. I’m doubting if its really the right fit for me. Which makes me doubt whether or not the vocation I’ve been journeying towards is really where I should be going. I miss Portland. I miss the rain and grey skies.
But yet, I do not doubt that Los Angeles is where I am supposed to be right now. I can’t completely explain it and it often doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. Things aren’t all gloom here either. I’ve got a couple of old friends that live down here that I get to hang out with once and awhile (though not enough). I’ve also got a new close friend that I’ve met since being here. I’ve found a really good church (in Beverly Hills of all places) to be a part of. These are some of the things I’m thankful for this weekend. I’m also thankful for my friends in New York, Portland and Eugene…who’ve listened to my whining over instant messaging chats.