clouds hanging over life

Things don’t look good with my grandma.  Even if she were to recover…she’s likely never to be able to really return home.  The last couple days have been rough on her.  She’s having a much harder time breathing.  It’s a very labor intensive process for her.  She doesn’t want to die, but she’s also very afraid.  You can hear it in her voice and see it in her eyes.  If she can’t stabilize…they can’t do a surgery for a feeding tube in her stomach.  And she can’t go to a rehab center without the surgery.  

It’s been such an emotional roller coaster this past week.  The strength of my grandpa and my uncle and dad amazes me.  They’ve slept so little since Thursday…taking turns to make sure someone is always with her.  I know I haven’t had their strength.  Being at the hospital is tough and makes me sad.  I go at least once or twice a day…but I’m always exhausted after just a few hours.

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