crossroad blues

I went to the crossroad
     fell down on my knees
I went to the crossroad
     fell down on my knees
Asked the Lord above “Have mercy, now
     save poor Bob, if you please.”
Mmmmm, standin’ at the crossroad
     I tried to flag a ride
Standin’ at the crossroad
     I tried to flag a ride
Didn’t nobody seem to know me, babe
     everybody pass me by
Mmm, the sun goin’ down, boy
     dark gon’ catch me here
oooo ooee eeee
     boy, dark gon’ catch me here
I haven’t got no lovin’ sweet woman that
     love and feel my care
You can run, you can run
     tell my friend-boy Willie Brown
You can run
     tell my friend-boy Willie Brown
Lord, that I’m standin’ at the crossroad, babe
     I believe I’m sinkin’ down

— Robert Johnson “Cross Road Blues (Take 2)”

I am standing right at the crossroad right now.  I need to fall down on my knees and ask the Lord, “Where oh where do I go now?”  I feel lost, and I’m not sure how to find my way home.  The paths that I know are in front of me are, the road to seminary and teaching English in Japan for at least a year.  Other than that, its an unknown path.  My ever precarious finances may make the Japan option a little more difficult.  I’ll need to have about $2000 set aside to cover airfare and expenses when I first get over there.  Which is of course about $2000 more than I have set aside in savings at the moment.  The road to seminary feels like its a little impassable for the moment.  Leaving just the unknown.

I honestly don’t know what I am going to do, if not on the path towards seminary.  The Japan option would just be a short detour on that path more than anything else.  If I do deviate from the seminary path, then where do I go, what do I do?  Do I stay in Portland?

Right now, all I can do is fall down on my knees and listen for that still small voice.

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