The thing that sucks about being a Christian is that God actually lives in other people.The community I am a part of is giving up God for Lent. No, we haven't all decided to give up church for hedonistic pleasures. What we are doing is giving up our notions of who (or what) God is. The goal? To be open to new ways God can manifest in our lives. As part of this exercise, our 10:15 community (along with the rest of the parish) is reading the book quoted above. Unfortunately, because of a prior commitment, I won't be able to participate in the discussions. It's going to be an interesting read (and Lent) based on the quote above from the books introduction.-- Sara Miles in Jesus Freak:Feeding Healing Raising the Dead
Recently in radical theology Category
This year, another one of my friends was accepted into a new intern program affiliated with the Campus Ministry at Cal State - Channel Islands...the Abundant Table Farm Project. She luckily still fit under the 30 yr old ceiling most of the intern programs have.
Anyway, all this got me thinking about those of us in our 30s or 40s (or more) that are searching for ourselves, our spirituality, our intentionality. Where can we participate in these kind of things? I know my age group is more likely to be more settled into family life or a career (though maybe less so into careers in the current state of the economy), but there are many of us that are still searching for our vocation...or a vocational change. Where do we go to find our community now that we are out of school?
I think this is something that I'll add to my list to explore in the next year.
Graciously stolen from this post by Gareth Higgins: How are We Present to Reality?
A remarkable thought from Richard Rohr, which, if I read it thoughtfully enough, I think might get me through the day:
"Somewhere each day we have to fall in love, with someone, something, some moment, event, phrase, animal, or person. And it must be done quite definitively! Somehow each day we must allow a softening of our heart, which usually moves toward hardness and separation without our even knowing it. We can now prove neurologically that it is easier to move toward cynicism, bitterness, fear and despair than it is toward goodness, beauty, or appreciation. All spirituality is intended to help us recognize and counter our downward spiral toward smallness.
The world often tries to conjure up life by making itself falsely excited, by creating parties, even when there is no actual reason to celebrate. I have often noted in poor countries how people create fiestas because they have survived another season or even another day. We create fiestas to create fiestas, which I guess is not all bad; but after a while the ungirding of joy and contentment is not there.
We have to create and discover the parties of the heart, the place where we know we can enjoy what is, and that we have indeed survived and even flourished another day of our one and only life. Just make sure you are somewhere, and always, definitively in love! Then you'll see rightly, because only when we are in love can we accept the mystery that almost everything is."
An interesting thought indeed. It seems somewhat appropriate for me in relation to my recent spiritual struggles. Living in a place like Los Angeles can be quite the beast. Its a tough place to find your niche. At least for me it is. I've been here just over two years now and still haven't found my "community." Sure there are a handful of acquaintances and even a few friends, but for whatever reason it just hasn't gelled into a community for me. Perhaps the comparison to my community in Portland gets in the way of this. Perhaps the struggles of my first nine months working here and what that did to my confidence in myself...to my self-esteem...is sub-consciously hindering me in my relationships. I don't really know for sure. I know my internal life has struggled and I'm sure it has affected my external presence.
In reality, things aren't that bad. I've got a job that pays well enough for a level of financial security I haven't really had since leaving my parents house. I've found love that is amazing and surprising in so many ways. I just sometimes need to remind myself of that.
"In the West we have a tendency to be profit-oriented, where everything is measured according to the results....In the East - especially in India - I find that people are more content to just be, to just sit around under a banyan tree for half a day chatting to each other. We Westerners would probably call that wasting time. But there is value to it. Being with someone, listening without a clock and without anticipation of results, teaches us about love. The success of love is in the loving - it is not in the result of loving. Of course it is natural in love to want the best for the other person, but whether it turns out that way or not does not determine the value of what we have done. The more we can remove this priority for results the more we can learn about the contemplative element of love."
- Brother Geoff, as quoted by Mother Teresa in the book, "A Simple Path"
"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in a casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless- it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is hell."
-C.S. Lewis
I'm going to commute to work via bus. It's nice, I can take one bus from my house to work. I'll get to read on the bus, and avoid approx 40 miles/day wear and tear on my car (oh and traffic).
on a lighter note:
she often brightens my day with her posts
and gives me hope when my faith is weak
from her post this morning...
So, hello again, people. I hope you've been encouraging each other. I hope you all know you're loved, from the tips of your beautiful toes to your shining hearts. Even if they feel veiled or sad or numb, they're still shining deep down inside there somewhere. If you find it hard to believe today, I understand. I find it hard to believe often. But today I will believe for you.thank you tamie...for helping me believe today.
1) Fuck college. Go to the library. Make your own college.
2) Love completely.


